I’m back from staff retreat… pretty restful time away. Humid, lots of lightning at night. Good discussions. Moderate stress at how much there is to be done in the next few months. Excited about ministry and invigorated to prepare to move to part time. The girls are sick of my being gone. So am I.
This is a church newsletter article that describes the ministry idea I mentioned a few posts back. I think it’s rather simple yet I have been excited about its potential. I will intersperse the article with a few asides for you all…
…an experiment in rest, play, renewal and delight
We all know the importance of Sabbath—it’s one of the Ten Commandments, after all—but few of us practice it consistently. We seem to live in one of the most high-energy places on the planet. A member of Suburban Presbyterian has even coined a term, Fairfaxedness, to describe the breakneck pace of many of our lives in this county!
“A period of rest… is not simply a human psychological convenience; it is a spiritual and biological necessity,” writes Wayne Muller. Many of our pursuits are good, even noble and necessary. Yet most of us do not make allowance for enough rest and play in our lives. The Sabbath Experiment invites us to live a different rhythm. In Muller’s words:
“Remember the Sabbath… Remember to delight in your life, in the fruits of your labor. Remember to stop and offer thanks for the wonder of it! …God does not want us to be exhausted. God wants us to be happy.”
- Aside: This idea came from a few places: first, some big conversations between R and me on Iona about the pace of our lives and what kind of rhythm we want to live with our kids, especially in the frenetic suburban culture we live in. Second, Jan’s recent blog about how programs can sometimes hinder spiritual growth. And third, a line from Rick Barger’s book A New and Right Spirit (we’re studying it with the church session) in which he talks about overprogramming families, and as an alternative, his church sends home suggestions of spiritual practices that families can do together, without attending another meeting, signing up for another program, or cramming in one more church activity. So as much as possible, the Sabbath Experiment seeks to be an anti-program. R and I feel that we need this, and we’re inviting people along. If two families participate, great; if half the church does, I’ll write a book about it.
How it will work:
The project will run for eight weeks, beginning in mid-September and concluding in mid-November. Families and individuals are invited to a potluck “Celebration Supper” [date and time], where they will meet other participants, have fellowship, learn more about Sabbath-keeping, and covenant with one another to take intentional Sabbath time each week, however each family or individual defines Sabbath, for the duration of the project. We will keep in touch with one another through an e-mail list set up for this purpose, sharing stories and receiving support, inspiration, and practical tips.
This endeavor is for the entire Suburban Pres. community, but we recognize that the issues facing families with children are different than those without children at home. Therefore, there will be two separate “Celebration Suppers.” Families with children will gather at the home of RM and Mr. RM—childcare will be provided—and those without children, or whose children are grown, will gather at the home of Senior Pastor and her husband.
- Aside: This is my way of dabbling in the house church idea which I have been so captivated by. At the celebration suppers, we will just have fun together, but also have people talk in groups about what the real barriers are to sabbath and brainstorm some strategies.
I also think it would be cool to have a canvas banner hanging in the narthex for the duration of the project that people have signed, just to keep the project before the congregation.
And I am contemplating prayer partners for each family: people who are participating in the project, or not, who agree to pray for a specific family for the duration of the project.
The Sabbath Experiment: Some questions and answers…
You’ve got to be kidding me.
Nope! We’re totally serious.
So—one day off a week? We’ll never manage that.
Each family or individual will decide the parameters of the Sabbath time. It may be an entire day. It may be an evening through noon the following day. It may be Sunday afternoon. It may be different each week. The point is to set aside the time and to spend it intentionally.
We used to do Sabbath when I was a kid. It was dull and lifeless. No thanks!
Just as each family will set the parameters, the content of the Sabbath will be different for different families. Some might cook a meal together, then watch a movie. Another family might turn off the TV and play a game. What activities bring you delight and draw you closer to your loved ones and to God? That’s the focus of your Sabbath time.
- Aside: I am working on some kind of “worksheet” (bad term) that lists out some of the ways people might do this. When might this time begin and end each week? Will families do an activity together, or will each person do his/her own thing? Is TV off limits? What about other technology? Will you also abstain from commerce on that day? (Some resources suggest this as a way of observing sabbath) And the all-important, what will you do if you “blow it” one week? Can you give yourself permission to blow it and still try again? And so on. This “worksheet” gives families some places to start the conversation.
My youth will never go for this.
Our children are products of our culture, just as we are. And as children get older, the appeal of family time in general wears thin. However, throughout history and even today in the Jewish community, families with children and teenagers have kept the Sabbath. There may be ways to encourage your reluctant youth’s participation. Part of the Celebration Suppers will be sharing ideas and brainstorming. And if you have a youth who truly refuses, take on the Sabbath discipline for yourself, and lead by example.
I have no problem with Sabbath, and will gladly take time as soon as (I return these e-mails, my desk is cleared off, the laundry is folded).
Make no mistake—Sabbath is not easy for anyone. That’s why we are going to do this in community. Support helps. But remember also that Jesus himself took Sabbath time, and he did not wait until everyone had been healed to do it. He did not ask permission to go. He simply knew when it was time to stop. He obeyed a deeper rhythm. He just may know something we don’t!
I like the idea, but I can’t do one more thing at the church.
No meetings. No committees. Just a dinner with friends, and you’re on your way.
- Aside: I am thinking we might have another dinner (with both groups together) in November when the project concludes. There is such a balance between being intentional and over-managing the process. Having the potlucks in our homes is intentional; it creates a different atmosphere. Obviously people can participate without attending either potluck.
The e-mail list is an experiment. Some groups use it beautifully. I really hope people will use it to share ideas, cheer one another on, or say “oh well, we blew it this week!” and get encouragement. If nothing else, it will be a good way for me to send out tips and resources. There really is tons of stuff out there about sabbath. It’s just that most of it is housed in books with scripty covers and decked with flowers and permeated by “shoulds.” I haven’t run across anything that really deal honestly and unpretentiously with how families with umpteen sports practices, music lessons, two working parents, etc. to observe sabbath. I’ve ordered some books recommended by some Jewish friends. We’ll see what those are like.
So, there is my idea. It’s good to be back.
18 Responses to “ministry idea”
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very cool!!!
sigh….I like my church, but damn! I wish I could attend yours….
As a Pastor’s husband, we’ve got simmilar goals & problems. Check out one of my recent posts exploring something simmilar:
Pastor’s Husband: Our Strange Schedule
http://www.mitchross.com/blog/index.php?itemid=28&catid=4
RM, this is an excellent idea and I will be very interested to see how it goes. My advice is that in addition to asking people to consider their use of computers, you should ask them to consider turning off (or handing over to their spouses) their Blackberries, Treos and other hand-held internet accessible devices. Not that this is an issue Chez QG or anything!
Interestingly, my daughters as children and teenagers rebelled against being over-programmed and created their own Sabbath time (though that’s not what they would have called it). Some of the youth in your church will embrace this idea in their own ways.
I think if you see it as time to be alone (within the setting of family), they might buy in. How many teens spend hours upon hours listening to music? That’s sabbath right there…..playing guitar, reading magazines….I think so long as teens know that their choices for sabbath are not judged, and sabbath doesn’t become forced family time, they’ll buy in pretty quickly. I asked a friend how her teenage daughters handle sabbath in their observant jewish family right now, and she said that so long as they are not on the internet (she does allow them to use the laptops, but the modem (and power cord) is off, or on the phone, she doesn’t judge what they do. (Their form of observant doesn’t prohibit electricity, but does prohibit engaging with people not in the room…..I think they made that up.)
Alone within the setting of family makes sense. Reminds me of how toddlers engage in parallel play.
We toyed with having a third potluck specifically for parents of youth. Because let’s face it, R’s and my little kids are going to embrace this: “Woo-hoo! Time with both our parents when they’re not [cooking, unloading the dishwasher, folding clothes]!” Whereas I’m not sure what suggestions I would have for the woman I talked to whose son is a senior and daughter is a junior. I think she worries that the ship has sailed.
It seems like it’s easier with youth when you’ve already ingrained this as a family practice. It’s just the particular activities that need to shift as they get older. For our people, this will be a total shift.
QG, the CrackBerry addiction has hit epidemic levels here. (By the way, does anyone else have an announcement in their bulletin or before the service about silencing cell phones and pagers? We do.)
We have an announcement that says “it’s easier to listen for God when cell phones and pagers are off. Please silence or power off your phones and pagers before the service.”
I love this Sabbath idea and I want to see how it goes! Please let us all know. I think it is something that could catch on here as well (also suburban with serious crackberry addictions, especially among the commuters).
I loved what I heard recently at a forum on C-Span. Before it started, the person introducing the speakers made the usual announcement about cell phones and pagers with this additional comment….
“so, if you decide to keep your cell phone on and it rings during the session here, I get to answer it”…
…seems I didn’t hear a peep during the whole hour from those pesky devices!
Do you know the book St. Benedict’s Toolbox? I suspect it might have some suggestions for “God time” that might be useful (though I’m on the road and don’t have my copy).
Having kids of a certain age (”Sarcasm - just another service we offer!”), I can sympathize, but I think you can start it at this point if pitched somewhere along the lines of…what would you want to do (together) that would be a delight? In some ways, their attention spans for activities with family as a short as toddlers (they’re just negotiating a different set of transitions in their relationship with you, but it still takes energy, which means they get tired and you know what THAT means..). So perhaps don’t say “let’s spend an afternoon together”, ask “what could we do…” and set the time accordingly. My kids adore to go for an ice cream cone and I tease them that it’s Ps 34: taste and see the goodness of the Lord. It’s a 30 minute excursion, but we sit outside together and taste each others flavors and generally just enjoy the gifts of each other and the world.
This sounds like a wonderful exercise…I promise prayers for it’s success, too!
I have stumbled onto a way to have restful time with my sarcasm offering youth:
I teach her something. Like sewing, or how to make a cake from scratch, or how to knit, or how to sew on a button……and then we sit there and do it. If she sticks her ipod in her ears, I ask to have one ear bud. I hate the music, but it means a great deal to her.
love this. Signing up and moving.
Actually we decided to have a Sabbath rest on Saturdays (from Friday night) and it worked really well for about 2 years. Now our kids are older teens they are ‘busy’ at weekends - sigh.
love it - love you and so happy you and your church are going for it.
and yeah write a book - even if it’s only two families.
oh and Sherry love what you do
Wow, I love this idea too! For about two weeks last spring we instituted “no screen” night in our house - no computers (ack! no blogs!), no TV, no going to movies. The only exception was the TVs at the gym
We’re serious TV addicts (yup, no kids, why do you ask?) and it didn’t last, but as our fall schedules get crazy, defining this again for us would be awesome.
I think this is fantastic and hope many families will join you. What an opportunity!
Sherry…I love the idea, especially the ear bud share!
I like that too. It’s definitely going in the book [wink], as is the idea that the activity determines the amount of “sabbath time.” Rather than forcing something: “we WILL have family togetherness for 3.5 hours!”
I have been looking through several Jewish resources that friends recommended. They are very interesting and provide some ideas, but it really is a different kind of sabbath observance than what Christians do (few though they may be). There are similarities but the basic ethos is different.
This is wonderful and intriguing… especially with a gospel passage that asks, “what is sabbath?” this week.
I hope it is wonderful… I look forward to reading your reports of it.
Peace,
Mags
Be sure to check out Marva Dawn’s book ‘Keeping the Sabbath Wholly.’ She has a wonderful 4-part focus to sabbath-keeping: ceasing, resting, embracing and feasting. Since it came out in 1989, many don’t know about it.